The Doors I Carry With Me: Part I

On Being Interviewed

The opportunity to consider my record, the journey that produced me (in the language of Baldwin) and the ways that journey stays with me in everything I do, doesn’t come around so often. As a white person, not only is that part of how my privilege works (I don’t have to think about it), but also there aren’t many times people care to hear about how I think my privilege has worked. No one wants to sit down with me while I detail the ways I see how I have been leveraged into certain places and positions because I am white.  Aaaaand I don’t blame them.  Mostly because it’s an incomplete picture.  So when I did have the chance to voice my histories through considering my journey, it was weird, a little bit awkward, and I sensed old specters of white guilt lurking. It was bewildering to hear myself being so honest with Alison and at the same time, as I fumbled through the ways my whiteness, class, southerness and “background” has been at work in the life I have lead thus far, I felt like I was arriving from a long trip–finally at home with myself.  It was nerve-wracking and, at the same time, invigorating because I was hearing myself think about what it means to be myself. What does this type of listening have to teach me about moving forward as a woman, feminist and ally to a variety of struggles from an honest place within myself. Listening to my oral history was like encountering a door, or many doors, actually.  Hearing myself come out of hiding in that safe space, walking through the door that day, I realized that it was a door I had created and that I have many doors I carry with me.
Coming Soon “The Doors I Carry With Me: Part II”